Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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