Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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