great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story