i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Buhtt sex?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
