The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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