This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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