I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
