So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
