...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
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Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
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I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize