I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
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I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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