you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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