so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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