Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
