I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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