ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
