Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
