And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
