The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
