Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
