My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
