Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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