i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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