so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
What a dumb baby whore.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
