Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
