The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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