guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
