I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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