literally had 100 drinks last night.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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