I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
"it" just moved
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
