I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
