I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
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