I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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