wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
