Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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