): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize
