bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
