I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'm too high and old for this...
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
