Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
