The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
