DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
