did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
