they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
