At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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