Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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