Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
