You made me cry and you don't even care
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
