if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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