Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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