I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
