...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
