My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
