trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
