If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Randomize
