next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
