dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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