Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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