Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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