Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
