i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
only you would photoshop your dick
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
