Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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