I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
