I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
