I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Randomize
