I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
