Betty ford says i'm here all night
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
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