i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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