As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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