There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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