This is not my ceiling
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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