I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
