saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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