The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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