Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
